return my video game
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
