forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
