I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
