that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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