If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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