brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Are we still banned from the library?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Text me some of your sweat
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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