you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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