Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
