you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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