She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.