ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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