Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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