who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
last night I used snow as a chaser
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
