I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
