3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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