So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
