Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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