I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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