you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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