What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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