just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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