I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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