the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
