I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
