I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
MIDGETS
????
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
