i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My bed smells like the plague
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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