I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i dont even know how to be here
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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