what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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