even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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