dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I puked a lego.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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