You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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