While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
