He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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