Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
