I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
