i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
