fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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