Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
