I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
nutella sex= disaster
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Semen is not good for contacts.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
