Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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