do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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