Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What a fucking waste of an outfit
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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