My room smells like vodka and shame
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
