wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
is that a dick in a sweater?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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