just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
