I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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