Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
