Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
