whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
