I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
