Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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