i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
