hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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