he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
