But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
