Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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