My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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