Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
