He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
