Cold hands, warm shart.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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