so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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