no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
