seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
