the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
