The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am naked and annoyed.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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