He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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