he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize